David Patneaude: Hello, my name is David Patneaude.

The first name's easy. My dad's name was Mervyn Harry Patneaude, and he promised himself after getting stuck with that mouthful, that he'd give his kids every day first names, at least.

The last name, which is French in origin, sounds easy but looks hard. I had a friend in the Navy who simply called me "Letters," and often I think it would be nice to have a shorter name, something I wouldn't have to constantly spell or pronounce or develop writer's cramp over.

I usually tell people the name rhymes with "fat toad," although I'm not sure I like that image.

Thanks.